Mental Health Awareness Month: A Whole Different Category

It’s May—the sun is shining, flowers are popping, the pollen is thick, and school is winding down. May also means it’s Mental Health Awareness Month. The cynical side of me thinks, “well geez, do we need a special day or week or month for everything?” I mean September 19th is International Talk Like a Pirate Day. There’s National Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day on January 31st. February is National Pet Dental Health Month. Enough already. 

But then the other part of me thinks, Mental Health Awareness Month is in a whole different category than a “shiver me timbers” or a K-9 molar extraction, it’s serious business. We need it to be every month! Mental health has often been overshadowed by its physical health big-brother. Eat your vegetables. Walk 10,000 steps. Wait did you eat your vegetables? Take some more steps. Lift some weights. Do you see those people on Instagram? Yeah, do your best to look like them. More vegetables! If you do all this, will you be healthy? You might be. Or you might be miserable. 

I think what it comes down to is overall wellness—how do you take care of yourself both physically and mentally so that you are of sound body and mind. And while our culture emphasizes the physical health side of things, the truth is that mental health is just as important. In fact, if you don’t take care of your mental health, it is really hard to take care of your physical health, too!

So what are some quick ways to check in with your mental health during Mental Health Awareness Month? While I may work in the mental health field, at the end of the day, I’m just a regular guy fighting many of the same battles as you are. I’m a dad with kids, and bills, and family stuff. I have worries, fears, and anxieties. I have to manage myself the best I can. Just like we all do. 

Here’s the stuff that works for me. Will it work for you? Maybe. But you might want to come up with your own wellness shortlist. But when you have it, prioritize it. 

• Getting outside. This is honestly my cure-all. When I’m feeling down, I step outside and look at the trees. I watch the birds and the squirrels and the chipmunks, which seem to be everywhere in my backyard these days. I also look up. Clouds are magical. They remind me that my problems don’t need to feel so big, even when they feel like they are. Want to take it a step further?—google, ‘forest bathing’—it’s a thing.

• Moving my body. When I am more physically active, I feel better. Now that’s just me, but also, there’s a lot of research to back this up. Homo sapiens weren’t sedentary creatures. Think about it, not all that long ago, we were hunter-gatherers. If we didn’t move, we starved. Then came the great agricultural revolution, we farmed for food. Then industrialization, we worked (often in factories) doing manual labor. Now many of us spend our days either sitting or working in one place all day. Our bodies were made to move. For me, I like to run when I can. Or play soccer, or basketball, or ride my bike, or take a walk. Honestly, whatever I can do to move a little more I try to do it. When I move more, I notice that I feel better. I have more energy, I feel more vital. Also, as you probably know, exercise releases feel-good hormones in your body—namely dopamine and endorphin. You may not have the time or space to take a 30-minute jog. I usually don’t. But I really like the 7-minute work out though. Try it?

• Internal self-dialogue. I have a constant internal dialogue going on. It’s usually something like this: “That was so stupid, why did you do that? Everyone’s going to notice that you don’t know what you’re doing.” Or “look at what Ms. So-and-So did, she does your job so much better than you. Why don’t you do it like her?” Or “I’m a bad dad, my kids only want their mom to put them to bed.” And then sometimes I have the complete opposite thought, which is that I’m happy that they pick my wife to put them to bed, because that means I get a bigger break from them—ha! And then I start to feel guilty for wanting to spend less time with my kids and it spirals from there. Anyway, my brain is constantly bombarding myself with these negative automatic thoughts. And I have to work to correct them, because they aren’t based in reality. They are based in fear—and I don’t want to live in the fear, I want to live in reality. So I talk myself down. I ask myself to rationalize. I give myself grace. I ask, is it reasonable that I might have this thought? Are there other reasons I’m thinking this? Are there things beyond my control which are leading to this situation? I have found this type of internal conversation to be extremely helpful. It works for me. 

• Knowing who my people are. I surround myself with the people who make me feel good. Who lift me up. My wife and kids certainly do. I look at them every day and I think how gosh-darned lucky I am. I don’t tell my wife that enough, but there’s no way I could do it without her. I have some amazing friends who I have known since I was just a kid. They don’t live around here, but Zoom has done wonders for our ability to connect. They make me laugh, which always does wonders for how I feel (it might for you as well?). I also have colleagues who support me and believe me even when I don’t believe in myself. It’s invaluable. Find your people, surround yourself with them, cherish them and keep them close. 

All this stuff—I don’t do it half-hazardly. It’s my routine maintenance. I listen to my body and my mind. I notice when I’m starting to feel overwhelmed or anxious, and I take steps to even out my emotions. Nothing to it, right? 

I’m always looking for tools to add to my wellness toolbox and earlier this year I came across something so intriguing I just haven’t been able to let go of it. Last summer in the Journal of Experimental Psychology a group of researchers from the University of South Australia determined that the mere act of smiling may be able trick your brain into feeling more positive—amazing right? Here's what the article said:

"We found that when you force practice smiling, it stimulates the amygdala--the emotional center of the brain--which releases neurotransmitters to encourage an emotionally positive state...this has interesting implications. If we can trick the brain into perceiving stimuli as 'happy', then we can potentially use this mechanism to help boost mental health."

I have tried this, placebo affect or not, it actually seems to work for me. This might be a useful tidbit to try on your own, share with your kids, your spouse, your mother-in-law, your frowny-faced neighbor, etc. With all that's going on, we need to utilize all the strategies we have to stay well.  

Wishing you all a zestful, joyous, and smile-filled end of the school year. Onward! 

By the by, here’s a handy diagram from the article on how you can force yourself to smile by keeping a pen or pencil in your mouth!