De-Escalation: How to Make the Best out of a Difficult Situation
Throwing chairs, destroying the room, hiding under tables. These are some behaviors you may encounter this year, if you haven’t already. While we hope to prevent a situation from rising to this level, it sometimes happens. For some students, negative emotion feels so intense that they cannot think rationally. If they could, they would understand that there are better ways to solve their problems. What triggers this level of reaction may be different for each student. For some, it may be conflict with peers. For others, it may be an overload of frustrating school work. Regardless of the cause, your reaction is crucial in restoring the classroom, and the student, to a safe level. The Crisis Prevention Institute (CPI) provides international training on managing potentially dangerous behaviors. They have created a list of their top 10 tips for de-escalating these behaviors. I have outlined them here, and linked to the page on their site containing original PowerPoint.
CPI's Top 10 Strategies for De-Escalating Behaviors
1. “Be empathetic and nonjudgmental.” Even though the student may have acted inappropriately, try to remember how the student sees the situation. Their reaction makes sense to them at the time.
2. “Respect personal space.”- Give the student some physical space to calm down. This applies to adults and other children in the room. If possible, allow the student to calm down in the room while the class moves on to a special, lunch, or recess. Of course, an adult should remain with the student to ensure his/her safety.
3. “Use nonthreatening nonverbals.” Don’t try to reason with the student, and keep in mind your body language. An angry or annoyed face, or tense body can communicate a threat to the student. Sit down, and keep a neutral face and tone of voice.
4. “Avoid overreacting.” These situations can be scary, but remind yourself to stay calm. The student will pick up on your emotion, so reflect how you want him/her to act: calm and rational.
5. “Focus on feelings.” Consider the situation and the emotion that was at the root of the problem. Let the student know that you realize how they are feeling (whether you think the feeling is rational or not). Young kids may not understand the feelings that underlie their emotion. Try to look out for how you suspect they are feeling. For example, if the student did not get to go to his preferred center, he may feel frustrated and like he is being treated unfairly.
6. “Ignore challenging questions.” An upset student may try to engage you in an argument by challenging your authority. “Do you even know anything about me?” or “Why are you always out to get me?” may test your nerves, but deflect this challenge by presenting solutions to the current problem (“We can work together to make school better for you”).
7. “Set Limits.” This is the time to offer choices between acceptable behaviors. Remember to speak clearly and keep your message short. Convey the consequence that each choice will result in (“You may use the calm down spot and then return to the activity, or you may go to the office and then get a discipline referral.) Keep in mind that not all situations warrant a discipline referral. Instead, you can offer the student two acceptable choices with positive outcomes.
8. “Choose wisely what you insist upon.” In order to avoid a power struggle, know which directives you have flexibility in, and which you do not. If mornings are challenging for the student, allow them to have choice in the activity that they work on.
9. “Allow silence for reflection.” Sometimes a challenging behavior is a student’s indication of overload. Giving a few moments of silence may help the student clear his/her mind.
CPI's Top 10 Strategies for De-Escalating Behaviors
1. “Be empathetic and nonjudgmental.” Even though the student may have acted inappropriately, try to remember how the student sees the situation. Their reaction makes sense to them at the time.
2. “Respect personal space.”- Give the student some physical space to calm down. This applies to adults and other children in the room. If possible, allow the student to calm down in the room while the class moves on to a special, lunch, or recess. Of course, an adult should remain with the student to ensure his/her safety.
3. “Use nonthreatening nonverbals.” Don’t try to reason with the student, and keep in mind your body language. An angry or annoyed face, or tense body can communicate a threat to the student. Sit down, and keep a neutral face and tone of voice.
4. “Avoid overreacting.” These situations can be scary, but remind yourself to stay calm. The student will pick up on your emotion, so reflect how you want him/her to act: calm and rational.
5. “Focus on feelings.” Consider the situation and the emotion that was at the root of the problem. Let the student know that you realize how they are feeling (whether you think the feeling is rational or not). Young kids may not understand the feelings that underlie their emotion. Try to look out for how you suspect they are feeling. For example, if the student did not get to go to his preferred center, he may feel frustrated and like he is being treated unfairly.
6. “Ignore challenging questions.” An upset student may try to engage you in an argument by challenging your authority. “Do you even know anything about me?” or “Why are you always out to get me?” may test your nerves, but deflect this challenge by presenting solutions to the current problem (“We can work together to make school better for you”).
7. “Set Limits.” This is the time to offer choices between acceptable behaviors. Remember to speak clearly and keep your message short. Convey the consequence that each choice will result in (“You may use the calm down spot and then return to the activity, or you may go to the office and then get a discipline referral.) Keep in mind that not all situations warrant a discipline referral. Instead, you can offer the student two acceptable choices with positive outcomes.
8. “Choose wisely what you insist upon.” In order to avoid a power struggle, know which directives you have flexibility in, and which you do not. If mornings are challenging for the student, allow them to have choice in the activity that they work on.
9. “Allow silence for reflection.” Sometimes a challenging behavior is a student’s indication of overload. Giving a few moments of silence may help the student clear his/her mind.
10. “Allow time for decisions.” Don’t press the student to
respond to you in a heated moment. Allow him/her some time to understand what
you’re asking of him/her and to consider his/her choices.
Intervention Central, one our favorite websites, also offers suggestions for calming highly agitated students. You can find that resource here.
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